evolution
The past few weeks have been really good for my own evolution as a person.
I got super sick to the point of blacking out/passing out when trying to make food for myself, collapsing on the floor and having to be scooped up. I somehow survived that and bounced back to 100% physical capacity as of this week.
Feeling the failure of "my body is too damn weak" when trying to get back in the saddle on dance games was tough. I didn't even try running because I knew my heart wasn't gonna be in the game.
Speaking of which, I'm really excited to run tomorrow morning for my weekly 5K. 💖
I started a new hobby (bouldering/rock climbing) that I really enjoy and made new friends through it. I feel like it's teaching me how to deal with failure again and enjoying the grind of failing more than succeeding, which is something I have honestly forgotten because I feel like I have a lot of mastery at my job and my primary hobby that take up most of my time.
I think learning new hobbies is important for me at this point to reinforce neuroplasticity. I didn't really understand it before, because I don't feel like I ever had any aspects of my life where I had insane mastery that allowed me to feel secure in branching out to other things "just for fun" as side quests. But now that I feel awesome at my job and I feel awesome at dance games, I think there is a lot of value in trying new things for kicks (while still leaving my priorities on what I love). When I got into running a while back, and the process of just doing it for kicks helped me a lot with becoming more open to the idea of branching out into new things.
I feel like the combo of having my strength and stamina reduced to 0 because of getting Very Sick and having to go through the process of learning something new afterwards while I wasn't 100% back was really tough on my mental. But I don't feel like I've had a mental challenge like that in a long time. I remember learning Tekken being really hard in a similar way to bouldering because of the feeling of failing over and over in front of everyone in-person. But the cool part about doing that is that people see your progress as you get better and better.
I feel like these past few weeks have given me a renewed sense of confidence in myself and my ability to overcome challenges. It feels like it's easier for me to deal with rejection now for just being myself because I feel stronger and more confident in myself to just try new things for kicks and not have unrealistic expectations.
